LIFE THROUGH MY LENS. .

I still can't believe that my mother is gone. It has officially been one week. And I must say it has been one hard week. Walking back and forth pass her room knowing that I won't ever see her face again, or hear her voice. I won't exit the elevator turn left to walk straight down the hall towards my apartment and smell food cooking. I won't hear her bangles that she loved and adored jingle on her wrist as she moves. I won't get those voice mails when I'm out somewhere knowing I was supposed to have been home hours ago.

I won't stand in the door way of the bathroom as she wraps her long beautiful dreads. I won't be able to just step back and admire her beauty, like damn, that's my moms. She just had this special glow about her. I always would greet her, Hello mother, and she'd respond Hello daughter.. Or I'd call her by her first name because just like me, she wasn't too fond of her birth name, so I did it just to bother her because I knew just how much she didn't like it, lol.

I can honestly say that she was the best mother that a girl could have. She always put her girls first. I don't know any other mother that's making four different dinners, because she has four daughters and one wants rice, and some want french fries, some don't like chicken breast, but likes chicken wings. I don't know any mother who's making six different breakfast cause out of her four daughters, one wants french toast, the other wants waffles, the other wants eggs and bacon and another wants a BLT, and you can't forget about the two grandchildren who one wants grits, and the other wants cereal.

I'mma miss the hell out of my mother. She spoiled us all and she always worried about us before she worried about her self. I know she was in a lot of pain and she fought long and hard, it'd be selfish of me to wish she was still here, because if she was she'd just be suffering, and I don't want her suffering. She was a christian, and she loved God, so I know she's in a safe place, free from any pain and suffering, watching over her girls.

i had a good life she played a big part
she was my light now everything's dark
man, i loved that woman more than i loved living
never cared what she got she was too busy giving.
♥

12.14.53 - 02.18.09